orrrrrrr I could forewarn you that this post may be borderline risque? borderline offensive or possibly sketchy? But PLEASE rest assured that it is all done with innocent motives. Confused yet? LET me clarify.
A long, long time ago, when I was in my mother's womb, I was destined (some might say predestined) to be a homeschooler. My whole life I was homeschooled, even through high school. To this day, I am still VERY proud of that and thankful that my parents (especially my mother) poured the countless hours, love and patience into giving me an amazing education. I didn't turn out socially awkward or people shy...I actually love people! But I was sheltered, and with the protection I didn't learn alot of things or term that many highschoolers and even middle schoolers learn throughout their education. This aspect of my life has made for some very interesting, very funny and sometimes very embarrassing moments. Add that with my dyslexia+enthusiasm to speak without fully thinking and you have a dangerous mix!
Another "instance" happened just today (not even 30minutes ago), and I felt I should share with you these phrases/words/comical revelations since they are a form of mishap or misadventure. So like I said, these may be a little sketchy or risque, but they were never intentionally meant to be. Read with your own discretion.
*You have been fully warned:)*
-Today I used the phrase "Jungle Fever"........and my husband informed me that that would never happen between us...I, Homeschool-Ruth, was left confused. I inquired about what he meant....annnnd I will never say the phrase Jungle Fever again, unless, of course, I contract a disease from Africa causing me to have a temperature higher than 98.2 degrees
-Yesterday (yes. they happen frequently) I was simply trying to say the word "Procrastinate"- definition:To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness
....but with my dyslexic skills....out slipped "Pornasticate" (ahhhhhh!)
-Go back in time with me: I am a Jr. at Virginia Tech, and was entertaining a group of friends. We got to talk about our latest infestation of cockroaches (yes. big Eeew) in our town house. And from there started talking about different fears people have such as arachnophobia (spiders) Acrophobia (heights), etc. So I had the bright idea of coming up with a name for the fear of our infestation and proudly shared with the group: "Cockaphobia" yeah...found out what that actually implied after my not-so-shining moment.
Lastly I would like to share one "Ruthism" story that will be forever ingrained in my mind....and most likely the cashier at Sbarro Pizza in Squires.
I was accompanying a friend to Sbarro so he could get some food for dinner. While he was ordering his food, I was completely occupied with admiring the size of Sbarro's meatballs. I mean they were GINORMOUS. I even said "Those are big meatballs" But "BIG" just wasn't sufficient enough. Between that comment and the next one I am about to make ( note: only 5 seconds pass between each) My mind starts to race, thinking of what to one ought to call such a HUGEMONGOUS meatball. I quickly recalled the term "Mancake", (used only when a pancake is outlandishly large) Or there is also the popular "Manwich", describing a sandwich that is so colossal, only a true MAN could eat something of that size.
"DING DING DING" ( i bet you already see what is about to unfold)
Just as we reach the register...I state quick frankly (and loudly) "Man! those are big meatballs!! (5 second pause noted above)... MAN BALLS!"
It wasn't until after the words had spilled out of my mouth did I realize what I had just said. I am eternally sorry for the friend I accompanied...and the Sbarro cashier that had to try with everything he had to keep a straight face after I had made that wonderful observation.
These aren't even all of them, but I will do myself a favor and stop with that.
So if you happen to be around me when one of these "special instances" happen, you can't say I didn't warn you:) Also, please don't take it personally or as an offense...I can promise you, it will have been an accident!
Signing out,
Mrs. B
